We can easily see that, in many areas, proper behavior is not taught anymore. While technology has increased, morals have severely decreased in our society.
As a result, most men are brought up, by "default," by the current moral norms of the culture. Instead of instructing our children how to properly behave with members of the opposite sex, for example, we rely on the culture- the schools, the priests, etc. But, one look around will reveal how scary that reality is.
Let us take a lesson from history: the cultures, once great, that fell into moral depravity, fell apart and no longer exist today- ancient Babylon, Greece and Rome.
From a microcosmic point of view, the man who falls into moral depravity falls apart and one day will not be remembered- he won't leave an honourable legacy. Yet, it is never too late to change, by God's grace.
St. John wrote, "I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the Word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the evil one." (1 John 2:14) Of course, he wasn't simply referring to sexual morality, or how men behave with women in general, but for young men (especially today) this seems to be the most difficult area to master, or "overcome." The Bible is aware of this- entire chapters and sections in the wisdom literature (Proverbs, Wisdom, etc.) are devoted to explaining to the young man how he should, at all costs, avoid the adulterous woman.
Statistics show that, while the world in general believes adultery is wrong, in over one third of marriages, one or both of the spouses commit adultery. Unfortunately, of course, men are more likely to do so. Adultery is wicked and we must pray that God's people repent.
Among men that are serious Christians, adultery may be out of the question (as it should be). Yet, there could be other destructive behavioural patterns, that are simply inherited by the culture today. (Romans 12:2)
Pornography
...something no one wants to talk about- but if you talk to any pastor, they will tell you that this is one of the most (if not the most) prevalent problem in their churches. We know from Jesus that viewing porn is adultery in itself. (Matthew 5:27-28)
It is a matter of intentionality- looking at someone in order to lust after them is what makes it adultery. Pornography is defined as "printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings." Sounds like Jesus' definition of adultery! In the Catholic Church, this is considered a mortal, or deadly, sin. (cf. 1 John 5:17)
As of May 9, 2019, 16 states in the U.S.A. passed some sort of resolution recognizing porn as a "public health issue." (link) 15 of those states have declared porn as a public health crisis. In a presentation by professionals to the United States Senate, it was argued that pornography is more addictive and destructive even than cocaine. (link)
Most people are aware, but for those who aren't, a simple Google search will reveal the shocking reality of just how many men, women, and children are getting addicted to pornography. What some call the "new drug" is even more difficult to get rid of, because you can't go through withdrawal- you can't surgically remove the evil images from your mind.
God can deliver your mind and set you free from pornography. Whether it's a regular thing, or once in a while, it is a serious sin that can destroy your life. It is one of the things that can drag you to hell. (like anger, unforgiveness, etc. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
If you need help, don't be ashamed. Reach out today.
Flirting and Flattery
Atticus Finch, the well-known fictional character from To Kill a Mockingbird, is well-loved and well-respected, because he was an honourable man, a man of integrity.
Jesus Himself showed us how to live with moral uprightness.
We can see that He never once flattered or flirted with any woman.
It's one thing with your wife, or if you're not married, the woman you are dating (itself a lost concept)- but the way men talk, joke, try to impress or get a laugh out of other women is not only too casual, it is sinful. (Proverbs 16:30) Flattery itself is never condoned, as it is a form of lying. (Proverbs 29:5;Job 32:21-22; Psalm 5:9)
Let us repent! (change our attitudes and actions) Lord, send the metanoia experience into us by the Holy Spirit.
Christian men need to lead the way for the culture today. Jesus said, "You are the light of the world." (Matthew 5:14-16) Of course, change is always met at first with resistance- but a man of principle is respected even by his enemies in the end. (Matt. 27:54)
Persecution will come if a man chooses to act with discretion- but it's a lot better than going to hell because you had no integrity. One seminarian we know, who had a conversion and decided to talk and act honourably with all women, was truly given a hard time in the seminary because of it. There was one woman on staff who insisted on being very friendly with the seminarians, and priests on staff. Though she acted too casually, and insisted on being called by her first name, he refused and continued to call her "Mrs. So-and-so." When he did not give her the negative attention she sought from the rest of the men, she turned on him and sought to destroy his reputation, grades, etc. Jezebel strikes again- but if you read the Bible, Elijah and Jehu win. God protected this seminarian and he prospered in the midst of his enemies. (Psalm 23:5)
HONOUR can be defined as doing the right thing simply because it is right.
INTEGRITY, as one Salesian priest shared, is when a man's words and actions are the same.
If we call ourselves, or desire to be Christian men, but act foolishly around women, we are hypocrites.
We have been trained by the culture to flirt and flatter, to be all too casual in order to get something out of the opposite sex. It is one of the highest forms of manipulation- this is why the young man is consistently warned in Scripture against the seduction of the adulterous woman.
It is freeing to act with dignity with other women, and to save the intimate expressions, conversations and moments for one's wife. It is freeing, because it is morally right- we feel better when we act properly. We are the children of God and we should act like it.
Truly, many men avoid calling themselves Christian, or even going to church at all because they don't want to be hypocritical. That is to say, they want to continue living according to the flesh (doing whatever they want for their own pleasure), and not hide behind a facade. This is the way of the coward, the way that leads to death (Prov. 14:12) Yet, hypocrisy also destroys. There is a way where our beliefs and actions become one and the same.
ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD (Luke 1:37) When you come to Christ, and ask Him to be the Lord of your life (Romans 10), He comes to live inside of you. This is the true meaning of being a Christian- a "little Christ." He did not die and rise again so that people would try to live like Him and fail, misrepresent Him and continue living the same way as before they met Him. No! He made us for victory and prosperity.
Because "Christ is in you," (Colossians 1:27) you are able to live righteously- in dealing with women, in becoming free from addiction to pornography or whatever it might be. It is not only getting free, but living free and becoming a man for others, a man like Jesus.
Let us repent- ask forgiveness from God, and change! Let us learn how to behave. The culture has let us down. Perhaps our fathers didn't teach us properly, being victims of the culture themselves. Yet, God is our true Father, and loves to teach us, through His Word, how to behave. With Christ living in us, it is not only possible, but it is expected of us. If we don't shine the light, who will? If we don't, we will be judged.
We find the instructions of how to live in the Bible. More on this later...
PRAYER
Thank You, Lord, for the grace of living like Jesus in today's world. Purity is ours by faith, and we choose to walk righteously. Teach us by Your Spirit and in Your Word to live holy. We claim the power for change.
Oh Jesus, lover of purity, remove all lust from my heart, so that I may serve You with a pure mind and a chaste body. Thank You for giving me the mind of Christ.
Amen.
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